I applaud Doc on his recent output. He has produced some excellent posts. However, I do not think that his recent surge in output should place my commitment to the blog in question. I would like to say that I am here and ready to complain about or applaud things in popular culture and banal things that occur in my life to the endless void that is the internet and the one person who is obsessed with honeymooners and keeps doing a google search for it and ends up here. Don't call it a comeback I've been here for years.
I do have a question, however, I wonder if I am more often Tweety or Sylvester. Meaning who is the winner of most arguments on the blog? Do Doc and I just switch and sometimes each of us is, at times, the smart Tweety out witting the dumb Sylvester? The hardest thing about writing a blog that nobody reads is that we don't get any feedback. So while your sitting there, wishing I was talking about the Honeymooners, think about the dynamics of Dos and Doc. Is one of us Tweety or Sylvester more often than the other?
Anyway, the task at hand, as I see it, is that I have to respond to Doc's posts, in order and under the banner of his post titles, and maybe place a few jabs at him while I am at it. Sounds good to me, here we go:
THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT. EH, MAYBE IT IS.
There are somethings you should know about me. I am not one of these people that take things as they come and can enjoy things for what they are. Things annoy me quite often and I am proud of this fact. The next thing you should know is that two things that I dislike are sporting events and advertising. Please do not get me wrong, I enjoy playing sports, both virtual and real. However, the idea of going to a sporting event seems pointless and painful. For one thing, who cares if anyone wins? No matter what happens a year from now we are back at the same point. The struggle of being a sport fan appears to have no end and no gain. Yes, there is the presumed joy of watching on the edge of your seat to see a team you want to win be down and out in the first half and victorious in the second. However, I do believe that the world of fiction and non-fiction art holds much more fascinating and entertaining scenarios than just a team that was losing eventually winning something. In other words, my interests lay else where. Furthermore, the superbowl is no exception to this.
Perhaps this is why it blows my mind to see people who are not sport fan watch the Superbowl and then claim to me that they are doing so to watch the fascinating advertisements. Didn't he say advertisements annoy him too? Yeah, I did. What is the joy in watching a message about how I should buy something? Even if there is a clever joke, and I would like to state for the record that I do not view that Doritos commercial as being clever, the point is still the same; to sell me something. Think of the crazy amounts of advertisements you see everyday and imagine if they were replaced by art, if they just let nature be or they just didn't exist. We are constantly surrounded by advertisements and it kind of does my head in. People are trying to sell you things, to make a profit off of you. That is what it is going on and it is a little beyond me that people are excited to watch them. Sure there are a few that I enjoy, but most have the value of being cheesy and I am watching them and laughing at them because they are so bad.
I KNOW THEY WERE JUST KIDS...BUT MAN WE BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM
Doc, do not cut yourself down. I am going to proudly state that I like the way you connected Chevy Chase to 3D media. You did a good job and you should know it. Walk down the street proud---OK, I already took this too far. But you know what? I hate 3D too. Doc did an excellent job speaking about how it is an unnecessary, if not annoying, frill to movies and how they have nothing to do with the quality of a film. Anything else I say on this topic will merely be repetitive as Doc did a good job with it.
THE HONEYMOONERS - WHY IT ENDURES
I did not read this whole post. I do feel like I have to be honest. It was long and, worse of all, it was all about Honeymooners. I know this may offend the previously discussed "honeymooner reader" of ours, but I feel like we have built up a relationship during this post and it would be wrong of me to lie to you. These shows bore me and there is much better out there. Please see my Twilight Zone post for more information and feel free to consult your local library about good versus bad taste.
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DOS?
Like any good mystery, one must examine all of the theories, in order, and disprove them until we arrive at the correct one. Where, indeed, was Dos? Try to see if your guess was correct.
Theory # 1: The Honeymooner Impact
Oh Doc, you can not get rid of me that quickly. I have to admit that I was impressed by the length and, at least the initial writing of the post. It seemed pretty "tight" as the kids say now a days. Unfortunately, you made one huge error. The Honeymooners are boring and kind of stink. Next time pick a better topic and then I might, indeed, be forced to retire at the sight of a post that is so good. I am talking about laughter, tears and fascination here. I issue you the challenge and wish you the best of luck with it.
Theory # 2: The Rebel Muppet Blogger
If only Doc, if only. I have to admit that I am intimidated by this prospect due to the website www.ToughPigs.com. Which, for the most part is my one stop shop for a Muppet blog and I dare not compete with such masters.
Theory # 3: The Sweet Smell of Success and Chevy Chase
Yeah, my Chevy Chase post was awesome. I just know I haven't peaked yet. When I peak with my blog posts you will know Doc. The whole world will know. I will build a race of super humans and then everyone will know and fear my wrath. The ground will shake and the whole world will bow down to their blog master. The day of wrecking is neigh.
Theory # 4: Disney DVD Distraction
Excellent theory, just happened to not be true. But good job gumshoes. Carmen Sandiego was nearly in your grasps.
Theory #5: Doc is Victorious
See my earlier remarks about Tweety and Sylvester. However, I would like to add that it is of my belief that there are two types of people in this world; Doses (Dosi?) and Docs. I hope an pray that someday there will be an equal amount of both in the world to prevent fighting and create a stalemate, or I can never see peace arriving on earth in our lifetime.
Theory # 6: The Be Human is to be Lazy
Another excellent theory and I would say half of the truth.
Theory # 7: Complaining Can Only Last So Long
Not true, there will always be some topic to complain about.
Theory # 8: Action Figure Play-date
I WISH!
Theory# 9: Blogs Are More Fun Than Life, But Sometime Life Wins
DING! DING! We have a winner! If only life was just blogs, movies and action figures....
Well, was your theory right? Did you figure out who was Tweety and who was Sylvester? Well if you didn't don't worry because you will always get another chance here at The 3184 Blog Mystery Dinner Theater. Please remember to tip your waitress and have a good night.
P.S. I'm always Tweety! I do the outsmarting. How could Doc ever be the victorious Tweety? What a Sylvester that guy is!
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