Excuse Me, But Your Standing On My Lung

Listen buddy, you wanna smoke? I do not care. Smoke all you want. Smoke one for me too. Here is the thing though; it is pretty damn nasty. Your teeth look gross, you smell terrible and you remind me of New Jersey. What I am trying to say is that I don't want to see you. Yes, I know smokers are people too. I guess I'll just have to take your word on that one. Everything Doc said I agree with. However, what Doc is lacking is a plan.

Here is what we do. We make these giant glass boxes. They are not inside a building. They are outside all buildings. They exist on their own. They are just big glass boxes. That way people can see them get all smokey from the outside. Man, it must be gross in there. Thank goodness I don't smoke. Maybe we should have a system of tubes as you go into these buildings so no smoke gets out. You know, like those tubes in E.T. that used to freak me out when I was younger that Elliot is running through. I haven't seen that movie in a while because I dislike it, and am now debating if that part is real or if I made it up. I am pretty sure it is real and that it freaked me out. Freaked me out, just like people smoking near me.

Doc spoke of an occasion where I was walking with someone and they just started smoking in front of me. I think people should have to ask if it is OK. Given, I would probably feel bad and just have said yes. Still it would be nice to have been asked and know that this person in question was aware that some people do not like being exposed to second hand smoke.

Here is a partial list of movies that freaked me out when I was younger:

The scene of the old emperor dying from the The Dark Crystal
Every scene in The Witches
The boat scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The woman criminal from The Goonies
The wolf from The Neverending Story
Every scene from The Secret of Nimh
The R.E.M. music video for Losing My Religion when that dude sticks his hand inside that other dude who looks like Jesus's wound in his stomach
Cher in Moonstruck
The scene where they lower people into the glowing red thing in the temple and Indian Jones is under some spell and is unaware that he is helping the bad guys in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
That opening scene of Heathers which makes no sense and has someone shooting a polo ball and someone's head
The father in the Girls Just Wanna Have Fun music video
Sloth in The Goonies
The poster for Flight of the Navigator
Jackie Mason in Caddyshack II