If you have not realized yet, and when I say "you" I mean nobody because nobody actually reads this blog, I have been really into reading quotes recently. My last two posts had quotes as key features in them. I went to go look for some quotes today and I realized that I have been going about this quote thing all wrong. I don't want to look up good quotes that express how I already feel about something. What a waste of time that is! I want to look up dumb quotes by dumb people and have a good laugh about it. Now, when I think of dumb the first thing that pops into my head is Rick Santorum. I am not saying that Rick Santorum is dumb, I am just saying that those two words some how remind me of one another. Like when you play word association. You say Rick Santorum, I say dumb. It just happens, kind of like how I relate black lung with coal miners. So, my first stop on the dumb quote train line was Santorumville and I have learned a lot. There are many a lesson that can be taken from this wise sage. So, in addition to sharing this quotes with you, I will also share what Professor Santorum has taught me. Here we go:
"In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing."
Lesson # 1: People who are against gay marriage are not really against gays. They are protecting us against bestiality.
"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the eye to come back to the United States."
Lesson # 2 and #3: If there is war in Iraq, then there is no war in the United States. Lord of the Rings is an excellent source of advice on foreign affairs.
"The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom."
Lesson #4, #5 and #6: Arguing over why the Crusades happened relates to modern American politics. Everybody who is on the American left hates Christianity, even those who are Christians. When the crusaders went to capture the holy land from the Muslims, that was 100% the Muslims fault.
"The reason Social Security is in big trouble is we don't have enough workers to support the retirees. Well, a third of all the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion, because one in three pregnancies end in abortion."
Lesson #7: Seriously? Do I really have to explain how this one makes no sense hidden in a fake lesson?
There are more. Trust me there are more. This is the man who took the lead recently in the Republican primaries. If these quotes leave you with a loss for words, let me leave you with one final quote, not by Santorum.
"Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity, nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today."
Mark Salter, aide of John McCain, Facebook, 2011-05-17, quoted in Sargent, Greg (17 May 2011), "Happy Hour Roundup", The Plum Line (Washington Post), retrieved on 2011-05-19
referring to Santorum's 2011-05-17 statement that John McCain "doesn't understand how enhanced interrogation works"
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