If you have not realized yet, and when I say "you" I mean nobody because nobody actually reads this blog, I have been really into reading quotes recently. My last two posts had quotes as key features in them. I went to go look for some quotes today and I realized that I have been going about this quote thing all wrong. I don't want to look up good quotes that express how I already feel about something. What a waste of time that is! I want to look up dumb quotes by dumb people and have a good laugh about it. Now, when I think of dumb the first thing that pops into my head is Rick Santorum. I am not saying that Rick Santorum is dumb, I am just saying that those two words some how remind me of one another. Like when you play word association. You say Rick Santorum, I say dumb. It just happens, kind of like how I relate black lung with coal miners. So, my first stop on the dumb quote train line was Santorumville and I have learned a lot. There are many a lesson that can be taken from this wise sage. So, in addition to sharing this quotes with you, I will also share what Professor Santorum has taught me. Here we go:
"In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing."
Lesson # 1: People who are against gay marriage are not really against gays. They are protecting us against bestiality.
"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the eye to come back to the United States."
Lesson # 2 and #3: If there is war in Iraq, then there is no war in the United States. Lord of the Rings is an excellent source of advice on foreign affairs.
"The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom."
Lesson #4, #5 and #6: Arguing over why the Crusades happened relates to modern American politics. Everybody who is on the American left hates Christianity, even those who are Christians. When the crusaders went to capture the holy land from the Muslims, that was 100% the Muslims fault.
"The reason Social Security is in big trouble is we don't have enough workers to support the retirees. Well, a third of all the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion, because one in three pregnancies end in abortion."
Lesson #7: Seriously? Do I really have to explain how this one makes no sense hidden in a fake lesson?
There are more. Trust me there are more. This is the man who took the lead recently in the Republican primaries. If these quotes leave you with a loss for words, let me leave you with one final quote, not by Santorum.
"Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity, nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today."
Mark Salter, aide of John McCain, Facebook, 2011-05-17, quoted in Sargent, Greg (17 May 2011), "Happy Hour Roundup", The Plum Line (Washington Post), retrieved on 2011-05-19
referring to Santorum's 2011-05-17 statement that John McCain "doesn't understand how enhanced interrogation works"
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Shit just got real
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. This blog used to be funny. But Dos just made it real. That was serious. All I got from that was that Dos hates people. And needs tv and movies to escape from reality. These are the ramblings of what sounds like a future serial killer to me!
Ok, I kid, I kid. Dos made a lot of good points there. He did, however, make some very very false ones. Lets delve into those first, shall we.
"I own an insane amount of DVDs"
FALSE
Dos owns maybe 200. This day and age, that is not very many. He himself has admitted to me that he is more and more reliant on streaming video over actual physical content. And that is the future, so he is smart to abandon his dreams of owning as many dvds as possible. Also, if you are gonna brag, at least brag about your blu ray collection! DVDs are so 90s.
That is actually that only thing about his post I can argue about. The rest was surprisingly spot on. Like Dos, I find most people to be annoying, ignorant assholes. And popular culture, wether it be movies, tv, music, books or comics, are my escape from the world we live in and these people that inhabit it.
Why can't everyone be like Dos and I? We are fairly smart. Ok, maybe not "book" smart, but we get the world. But then again, there could be a number of people who look at us and think, whats wrong with those idiots? So really, who is to say who is right? Well, right now, we are! Because we control this blog and what we say goes. So yeah, fuck you and your stupid banter small-talk. Nobody cares that your stupid kid didn't shit his pants for once. You got a raise? Good for you, dick.
Quite frankly, I don't even know what I really wanted to talk about when I started this post. But, Dos got me all riled up now and angry at the world. So yeah, bottom line, people in general are assholes. Popular culture is our escape. Goodnight.
Ok, I kid, I kid. Dos made a lot of good points there. He did, however, make some very very false ones. Lets delve into those first, shall we.
"I own an insane amount of DVDs"
FALSE
Dos owns maybe 200. This day and age, that is not very many. He himself has admitted to me that he is more and more reliant on streaming video over actual physical content. And that is the future, so he is smart to abandon his dreams of owning as many dvds as possible. Also, if you are gonna brag, at least brag about your blu ray collection! DVDs are so 90s.
That is actually that only thing about his post I can argue about. The rest was surprisingly spot on. Like Dos, I find most people to be annoying, ignorant assholes. And popular culture, wether it be movies, tv, music, books or comics, are my escape from the world we live in and these people that inhabit it.
Why can't everyone be like Dos and I? We are fairly smart. Ok, maybe not "book" smart, but we get the world. But then again, there could be a number of people who look at us and think, whats wrong with those idiots? So really, who is to say who is right? Well, right now, we are! Because we control this blog and what we say goes. So yeah, fuck you and your stupid banter small-talk. Nobody cares that your stupid kid didn't shit his pants for once. You got a raise? Good for you, dick.
Quite frankly, I don't even know what I really wanted to talk about when I started this post. But, Dos got me all riled up now and angry at the world. So yeah, bottom line, people in general are assholes. Popular culture is our escape. Goodnight.
Very Good Advice
"When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much." - John Cleese on trying to understand why people protested his film, Life of Brian.
It is true, my life is far too influenced by popular culture. I own an insane amount of DVDs, I like talking to people about popular culture and I get a unique thrill from discovering some old film from the 1930s on youtube or netflix that is hilariously blunt in its racism. Most of my philosophy on life does not come from Kant, Heidigger, Hume or Nietzsche. In fact, I only was able to list those philosophers so quickly because of a song I know about philosophers. My influences are Muppets, Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Stanley Kubrick, Wes Anderson and a host of others. I do wonder why this is. I have been exposed to a very strong liberal arts education and yet I find myself constantly drawn to popular culture as opposed to more intellectual persuits.
In addition to my obsession, there are some more quirks of my personality that I must make you aware of before we arrive at the point. Mainly this is about how I hate everything. I look at this world and I see a lot wrong. Things get on my nerves very quickly. By things I mean people. I am fairly well read in politics, but I am aware of the fact that if I get myself into it too deeply, I will be increadibly angry all the time about the amount of corruption and sheer stupidity of the people running our country. I like talking with people, but I know that if I had to make small talk everyday of my life I would kill myself. Most people are so self-interested and blindsided by there attempt to lie to themselves about how amazing they are that talking to them for too long really does my head in. Now, you may agree with me on this or, and most likely, you disagree and think that I am the lunatic and have a bad view of human nature and life in general.
Now, we have arrived at the point and the quote above, which I agree with. In order, to live a life where I am not walking around angry all the time I have to realize what that quote is trying to convey to me. This is the way that the world is. This is the shape of the game board that we are all playing. The world is indeed an absolute madhouse. People are operating under a fantasy. They do not see the world the way that it really is. They do not see themselves as they really are. This realization means three basic things to me.
1. I have to do whatever I can to not be like these people. I do want to see the world and myself accuratly and not exist in a fantasy.
2. I have to realize these facts and be ok with it, so it does not drive me mad.
3. When I do escape in fantasy through TV or movies, I want it to reflect perfectlty the insanity of this world.
All of the popular culture that I do like has the common theme of this in it. I realize this now. They all show the absolute craziness of life. They make me feel better about it because someone else is realizing how insane people are. I need this to be confirmed constantly. I need to know that there other people out there who feel the same way I do about these things. That is why I need to have a large DVD collection, talk about what I like and dislike in popular culture and find bizaree relics from the past to make fun of. This world has always been insane. It always will be insane. People have always been selfish and lived in fantasy worlds they create for themselves not based on any facts. People always will be this way too. It is the act of becoming ok with this and having it confrimed that I need to get me through all of the ups and downs. I think that is some very good advice. At some point you realize that the world is not going to change and that you have to make some sort of peace with it. Here is my peace. I worship the alter of popular culture because it is the only thing that explains to me the world as it really is by showing an exaggerated form of it.
It is true, my life is far too influenced by popular culture. I own an insane amount of DVDs, I like talking to people about popular culture and I get a unique thrill from discovering some old film from the 1930s on youtube or netflix that is hilariously blunt in its racism. Most of my philosophy on life does not come from Kant, Heidigger, Hume or Nietzsche. In fact, I only was able to list those philosophers so quickly because of a song I know about philosophers. My influences are Muppets, Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Stanley Kubrick, Wes Anderson and a host of others. I do wonder why this is. I have been exposed to a very strong liberal arts education and yet I find myself constantly drawn to popular culture as opposed to more intellectual persuits.
In addition to my obsession, there are some more quirks of my personality that I must make you aware of before we arrive at the point. Mainly this is about how I hate everything. I look at this world and I see a lot wrong. Things get on my nerves very quickly. By things I mean people. I am fairly well read in politics, but I am aware of the fact that if I get myself into it too deeply, I will be increadibly angry all the time about the amount of corruption and sheer stupidity of the people running our country. I like talking with people, but I know that if I had to make small talk everyday of my life I would kill myself. Most people are so self-interested and blindsided by there attempt to lie to themselves about how amazing they are that talking to them for too long really does my head in. Now, you may agree with me on this or, and most likely, you disagree and think that I am the lunatic and have a bad view of human nature and life in general.
Now, we have arrived at the point and the quote above, which I agree with. In order, to live a life where I am not walking around angry all the time I have to realize what that quote is trying to convey to me. This is the way that the world is. This is the shape of the game board that we are all playing. The world is indeed an absolute madhouse. People are operating under a fantasy. They do not see the world the way that it really is. They do not see themselves as they really are. This realization means three basic things to me.
1. I have to do whatever I can to not be like these people. I do want to see the world and myself accuratly and not exist in a fantasy.
2. I have to realize these facts and be ok with it, so it does not drive me mad.
3. When I do escape in fantasy through TV or movies, I want it to reflect perfectlty the insanity of this world.
All of the popular culture that I do like has the common theme of this in it. I realize this now. They all show the absolute craziness of life. They make me feel better about it because someone else is realizing how insane people are. I need this to be confirmed constantly. I need to know that there other people out there who feel the same way I do about these things. That is why I need to have a large DVD collection, talk about what I like and dislike in popular culture and find bizaree relics from the past to make fun of. This world has always been insane. It always will be insane. People have always been selfish and lived in fantasy worlds they create for themselves not based on any facts. People always will be this way too. It is the act of becoming ok with this and having it confrimed that I need to get me through all of the ups and downs. I think that is some very good advice. At some point you realize that the world is not going to change and that you have to make some sort of peace with it. Here is my peace. I worship the alter of popular culture because it is the only thing that explains to me the world as it really is by showing an exaggerated form of it.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Chickens. Classic.
So the blog is back, for now, and for Dos' first post, he chose to talk about a quote about chickens. It was a funny quote and I am glad Dos shared it with us. However, there is a bigger issue here. What is Dos' obsession with chickens?!?!
Since I have know him, they continually get referenced. Yet, he doesn't eat meat, so it's not like his obsession stems from how delicious they are. No, there is something else going on here. I believe it has to do with the Muppets. And quite frankly, based on the video below, it is hard to blame Dos. But lets remember, this isn't the Muppet Chicken's blog. So from this point forward, unless we are talking about how delicious and good for you chicken is, they will never* be referenced again.
*I can in no way enforce this and in fact expect chickens to be mentioned numerous times in the days and years to follow. Thank you for your cooperation.
Since I have know him, they continually get referenced. Yet, he doesn't eat meat, so it's not like his obsession stems from how delicious they are. No, there is something else going on here. I believe it has to do with the Muppets. And quite frankly, based on the video below, it is hard to blame Dos. But lets remember, this isn't the Muppet Chicken's blog. So from this point forward, unless we are talking about how delicious and good for you chicken is, they will never* be referenced again.
*I can in no way enforce this and in fact expect chickens to be mentioned numerous times in the days and years to follow. Thank you for your cooperation.
A Chicken Quote I happen to Like: Or Experimenting with the Random New Set Up with the Blog
Well, this new blog, like the new youth culture, has me all bug a booed. I do not know if we will be reviewing popular culture or just posting random things we like. I am going to assume the latter. So, we have seen what this looks like from the Doc side and here is the Dos side:
Hey everyone! I found a quote about a chicken that I happen to like! Enjoy the new blog!
Well they are very frightening for me because their stupidity is so flat. You look into the eyes of a chicken and you lose yourself in a completely flat, frightening stupidity. They are like a great metaphor for me... I kind of love chicken, but they frighten me more than any other animal.
- Werner Herzog, on the Signs of Life (1968) DVD audio commentary (2005).
Enjoy the new face of the blog 3184ers!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
What if...
Recently, the Los Angeles Times commissioned graphic artist Sean Hartter to design 15 different visions of a new Batman by some of the finest filmmakers in the world. What if Batman was directed by Matthew Vaughn, Todd Phillips, Wes Anderson, Rob Marshall, Brad Bird, Guillermo del Toro, Ang Lee, Catherine Hardwicke, Guy Ritchie, Martin Scorsese, Hayao Miyazaki, Neill Blomkamp, Tim Burton, Zack Snyder or Ridley Scott? Well, I believe the images below will give you an idea.
3184: A New Beginning
So I will be the first to admit, we fucked up. The blog as we had envisioned it, was unsustainable. Dos and I do not disagree on enough topics to continue doing this for an unlimited amount of time. Initially, the goal of this blog was to offer two views to a number of topics while bringing some chuckles along the way. Turns out, we covered everything we disagree on.
So now, I present to you the new and improved 3184 blog. Where we specialize in bringing you the best in popular culture! Well, not really the best, but whatever we feel like discussing. I questioned whether or not to keep the old articles on here or just start fresh. But I think its important to see how the blog began. Rather than start over, we can look back at where we came from. See our mistakes. Make improvements. To new beginnings!
So now, I present to you the new and improved 3184 blog. Where we specialize in bringing you the best in popular culture! Well, not really the best, but whatever we feel like discussing. I questioned whether or not to keep the old articles on here or just start fresh. But I think its important to see how the blog began. Rather than start over, we can look back at where we came from. See our mistakes. Make improvements. To new beginnings!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Serenity Now
Well, it has finally happened. WE. ARE. BACK. I am sure it won't last, but for the time being (or at least this and the previous post, Dos and Doc have returned). Now I don't wanna place blame on anyone for the blog's absence. But it clearly is all of Dos's fault. I pleaded with him time and time again to do a post, but he thought he was better than this site. I tried my best to keep it afloat on my own. But the pressure got to me. The Kindle Fire? Shit, I got a Nook Tablet. While the blog was down, I continued to write, but not on the blog. Instead, I began writing a number of books. Here is a list of a few of the projects I am currently working on:
He Doesn't Work Here Anymore: The Jesus Christ Story
The History of Bologna
Moby Dick: The Revenge
Some People Are Alive Only Because It Is Illegal To Kill Them
Thug Life
Battle-Wars: Empire in Turmoil
Over the Hump: Dos's Tips for the Perfect Vegetable Garden
It is quite the task taking on all of these books at once, but I am confident I can get them done. Spread the word. I want to see The History of Bologna become a best seller!!
I would like to end the blog on a high note for the end of 2011. I believe 2012 will be the year of the 3184! We can do it. In the next few days I will be posting my top lists for 2011. And if you are good, I will give you all a treat and post a few excerpts from "He Doesn't Work Here Anymore: The Jesus Christ Story." Believe me when I say, it is quite the read!
He Doesn't Work Here Anymore: The Jesus Christ Story
The History of Bologna
Moby Dick: The Revenge
Some People Are Alive Only Because It Is Illegal To Kill Them
Thug Life
Battle-Wars: Empire in Turmoil
Over the Hump: Dos's Tips for the Perfect Vegetable Garden
It is quite the task taking on all of these books at once, but I am confident I can get them done. Spread the word. I want to see The History of Bologna become a best seller!!
I would like to end the blog on a high note for the end of 2011. I believe 2012 will be the year of the 3184! We can do it. In the next few days I will be posting my top lists for 2011. And if you are good, I will give you all a treat and post a few excerpts from "He Doesn't Work Here Anymore: The Jesus Christ Story." Believe me when I say, it is quite the read!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
December is kind of like September
Well, I guess we know what a 3184 promise is worth.
Now, the blog kind of fell apart over the summer. We tried to bring it back in September, as was promised, but you can not recreate a phenomenon over night. I will leave that to the creators of the fantastic new Muppet movie. As for us, it takes time, energy and creative thinking to resurrect a international sensation like the 3184 blog. Since, the summer we have hired a whole staff of writers to work with us and create the best blog posts possible. During this period, Doc went on a renegade spree, posting bizarre blurbs about the kindle fire and the wall street protesters. You see, Doc was very much against the whole idea of hiring other people to write the blog for us. He felt that the blog should rise and fall on our words alone. What we learned from these Doc solo posts, is that we indeed do need help. However, we could not afford it. So, now we are back in force with new posts and all.
Another explanation would also go along way in explaining our absence. Your humble author whose words send you through all of the ranges of emotion possible in a blog post has been desperately trying to move his career ahead. I am sorry to give you that shock, but, yes, I am not paid for doing my groundbreaking work with this blog. A shame indeed, but the truth nonetheless. This has been the true reason for my lack of contribution to the blog. I don't want to bore you with my trials and tribulations of job hunting, suffice to say that there have been some steps forward and some steps back. No, this had not been an electric slide dance-a-thon, although the pattern that I have created in my career does resemble the constant turning around in circles of a poorly arranged line dance. I realize that I am not alone in the line dance of doom, as friends, colleges and even acquaintances have been making themselves dizzy trying to effectively navigate the dance floor of the real job world. Alas, I have become stuck in a metaphor and need a new paragraph to get me out of it. I'll meet you down there.
Hello again. Welcome to a much more hopeful paragraph. "Why is it hopeful?," you may ask. It is hopeful again because the blog is back. The blog is not only an outlet for my frustrations but a source of inspiration. A metaphorical light and the end of the metaphorical tunnel, if you will. We, myself included, are all about to be enrolled in a course. Prof. Doc has promised an instructional job-getting tutorial for all of our stuck-in-a-rut careers. However, the good professor's specialties do not only include attaining the job of your dreams. Oh no, I have personally been promised tips to leading a more fulfilling life as well. What is left for us hopeful students now? Well, a bit of waiting. The first step to any answer is patience. Unless your in a life or death situation. I would assume patience wouldn't work there. Anyway, it is coming. All of our answers will be here soon. They will be herded in like the cattle in City Slickers. It will not be in the form of Billy Crystal's non-offensive, politically correct, but slightly ethnic brand of humor. Oh no, this will not be that at all. This will words to live by handed down by our own resident Moses. Prepare yourself for a brighter tomorrow readers. The professor is on his way.
Now, the blog kind of fell apart over the summer. We tried to bring it back in September, as was promised, but you can not recreate a phenomenon over night. I will leave that to the creators of the fantastic new Muppet movie. As for us, it takes time, energy and creative thinking to resurrect a international sensation like the 3184 blog. Since, the summer we have hired a whole staff of writers to work with us and create the best blog posts possible. During this period, Doc went on a renegade spree, posting bizarre blurbs about the kindle fire and the wall street protesters. You see, Doc was very much against the whole idea of hiring other people to write the blog for us. He felt that the blog should rise and fall on our words alone. What we learned from these Doc solo posts, is that we indeed do need help. However, we could not afford it. So, now we are back in force with new posts and all.
Another explanation would also go along way in explaining our absence. Your humble author whose words send you through all of the ranges of emotion possible in a blog post has been desperately trying to move his career ahead. I am sorry to give you that shock, but, yes, I am not paid for doing my groundbreaking work with this blog. A shame indeed, but the truth nonetheless. This has been the true reason for my lack of contribution to the blog. I don't want to bore you with my trials and tribulations of job hunting, suffice to say that there have been some steps forward and some steps back. No, this had not been an electric slide dance-a-thon, although the pattern that I have created in my career does resemble the constant turning around in circles of a poorly arranged line dance. I realize that I am not alone in the line dance of doom, as friends, colleges and even acquaintances have been making themselves dizzy trying to effectively navigate the dance floor of the real job world. Alas, I have become stuck in a metaphor and need a new paragraph to get me out of it. I'll meet you down there.
Hello again. Welcome to a much more hopeful paragraph. "Why is it hopeful?," you may ask. It is hopeful again because the blog is back. The blog is not only an outlet for my frustrations but a source of inspiration. A metaphorical light and the end of the metaphorical tunnel, if you will. We, myself included, are all about to be enrolled in a course. Prof. Doc has promised an instructional job-getting tutorial for all of our stuck-in-a-rut careers. However, the good professor's specialties do not only include attaining the job of your dreams. Oh no, I have personally been promised tips to leading a more fulfilling life as well. What is left for us hopeful students now? Well, a bit of waiting. The first step to any answer is patience. Unless your in a life or death situation. I would assume patience wouldn't work there. Anyway, it is coming. All of our answers will be here soon. They will be herded in like the cattle in City Slickers. It will not be in the form of Billy Crystal's non-offensive, politically correct, but slightly ethnic brand of humor. Oh no, this will not be that at all. This will words to live by handed down by our own resident Moses. Prepare yourself for a brighter tomorrow readers. The professor is on his way.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
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