Monday, February 7, 2011

I know they were just kids...but man we beat the fuck out of them!

Let me say that I agree 100% with Dos's Chevy Chase post. Chase is still hilarious and that can be seen by watching Community. Hands down one of, if not the best, comedies on tv right now. But like most great things, it is too smart for the masses. But anyway, since apparently this blog is becoming a movie topic site, I would like to discuss my feelings on 3D. Which, unlike something smart like Community that doesn't attract a lot of viewers, people seem to enjoy. Like how I connected those two things to jump into my topic? Eh? Eh? Yeah ok, me neither.

I fucking hate 3D! It is just a god damn gimmick. And you fucking idiots out there eat it up. Fuck is wrong with you? Ten dollar movie tickets weren't enough for you? Now we gotta pay fifteen dollars to see some movie that most likely won't live up to the hype anyway (Hollywood sucks now-a-days). 9 times out of 10 I will pick 2D over 3D. First off, two hours wearing those glasses hurts my head and often results in a headache. Is that what I am paying extra money for?

I recently rented Resident Evil: Afterlife (you want to fight about it?) which was a movie that was designed for 3D. And I have to admit, the scenes they shot for 3D might have looked pretty cool on the big screen, but watching at home in 2D made it quite distracting seeing things that were obviously done strictly for the 3D aspect. Hence: gimmick. It did nothing for the story (granted, it was Resident Evil, so the story was going to suck no matter what) other than add more limbs and bullets flying towards the screen. Big fucking whoop. One compliment I can give is that Resident Evil was a movie that was at least designed specially with 3D in mind and shot using 3D cameras. So it is not the worst of all evils.

Movies converted in post are public enemy number one. These are strictly cash grabs by the studios. No artistic merit whatsoever. Clash of the Titans and the Last Airbender, I am looking at you. And you dumb mother fuckers out there paid to see these crap movies in 3D. Perhaps I am being a lil harsh because I assume everyone should know the facts before going in and seeing a movie. The Last Airbender was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. But I was smart enough to at least see it in 2D. (If I was really smart the 5% it had on Rotten Tomatoes would have kept me away altogether. Sigh). 3D would have served no purpose whatsoever other than getting more money out of my pocket.

Who do I blame for this 3D nonsense: James Cameron. Alright, Mr. Cameron. Special effects are cool. But this day and age they don't have the same appeal they once had. Seeing Star Wars when it first came out was huge because no one had never seen effects like that before. It blew people's balls off. Now though, people are so used to it they aren't as blown away as they used to be. So again, just a gimmick. First and foremost the script and story should be perfect. Anything done in post does not matter as much. If you do not have a perfect script, don't even bother. I was EXTREMELY excited for Avatar before it came out. And yes, the effects were very cool and the 3D did look nice, but I didn't care for the movie because it was just such a generic story. No surprises there. So i paid fifteen dollars for effects and 3D. This is not why I go to the movies! Sure, it counts for something, but it is not the main reason.

I would like to end this rant with an open invitation to Mr. Cameron. You fucked us dude. Now just admit you were wrong. That is all I want. For the most part, 3D serves no purpose in telling a story. The script should be your number one priority. Once that is perfect, move on from there.

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