The Real Enemy

Look, Doc is twisting things again. Clearly the Avengers is a terrible terrible (not a typo, it is that bad) movie. This can be made clear through a simple quote from the New York Times:

A. O. Scott of The New York Times believed that "while The Avengers is hardly worth raging about, its failures are significant and dispiriting. The light, amusing bits cannot overcome the grinding, hectic emptiness, the bloated cynicism that is less a shortcoming of this particular film than a feature of the genre."

Anyway, I am not here to talk about the Avengers. As bad as that movies is (and it is really bad), it is only one of the main concerns in our contemporary society. The real concern is, that dreaded enemy; milk duds.

First of all, salted Carmel. Does that even sound good to anyone? Even if you like salt and Carmel, how do these two tastes go together? I'll tell you how, they don't. The word "milk" in the title clearly refers to the milk chocolate. However, this is purposely misleading. They put the word milk in there to imply that it is healthy and it certainly is not. I can not stand when a snack product goes masquerading around as if it is healthy when it is clearly not. The second part of the name they got right, it is a dud. What a dud of an idea. The term dud really comes from the fact that they could not make the candy perfectly circular. I think that this initial failure should not have been incorporated into the name, but should have been a sign to the otherwise good people at Hershey that they should not be selling this horrendous product.

In fact, it was not Hershey that even created this Frankenstein candy running amok and destroying everything it touches. However, Hershey has made the product progressively worse by substituting the better, but more expensive, cocoa butter for some cheap substitutes. This is what officially makes this ball of terror the society destroyer that it is today. In fact, according to the FDA, these candies have been so perverted that they can not legally be described as candy coated in milk chocolate. Instead they are described as "chocolate candy" to trick the dumb consumer.

It is time that Doc gets his head out of his ass and recognized that Milk Duds are not the fun loving good time treat hethinks they are. They are a blemish on this society and are emblematic of all that is wrong with the candy industry. Doc admit the truth; Joss Whedon only cares about making money and exploiting a genre which has already been brutally done to death and has no artistic aspirations, while milk duds are a blight on this society. Both the Avengers and milk duds are preventing actual progress in the field of film and candy confectionery and need to be exposed for the terrors they are. Thank you for your time and please leave a donation to the anti-whedon and anti-milk duds boxes in the back of the room. There are also donuts and coffee provided by the sisterhood. Please enjoy and thank you for attending.

Joss Whedon: 2012 Entertainer of the Year

EW's Entertainers of the year don't get on the list for making SHIT. They are there because they produce GOLD. Dos is still very bitter that The Avengers is the top grossing movie of the year, a crowd pleaser, and just an overall excellent movie. I can see now he can't be reasoned with. I tried to move on. But nope, we are still stuck here. So now I am going to list every single thing Dos has been wrong about in life:

The Avengers
Inception
Bowser (Throwback!)
I Love Lucy (The Honeymooners is better, no debate)
Music (His Ipod is just one Rihanna song after another... disgraceful)
Chickens / Meat
Spoilers
Midgets (They are not evil and do not dwell under bridges Dos!!)
Nutrageous (Fast Break!)
The Alphabet (Dos claims it is some type of massive conspiracy)
Muppets
"The Blacks" as Dos likes to call them (talking about milk duds people, sheesh)
Green Apples (Throwback again!)

Those are just a few items that Dos has been wrong about. Looks like the blog will remain on hiatus until Dos can move on and admit he is wrong. See ya'll in a few months.

Well, Looks like I just won the Avengers Debate!

I have refused to post on this blog until Doc rebutted my Avengers argument. It looks like I won. Since Doc has changed the subject, his defeat is clear. I am very sad the pain that this has brought my writing staff as they have been out of work due to Doc's negligence in admitting defeat. However, it is time to put this troublesome past behind us. Doc has lost, the war is over and the Dos team remains victorious. Since Doc has shown us his white flag, ON WITH THE BLOG! I look forward to a triumphant renaissance of the blog in the next few weeks!

Let's Just Pretend We Didn't Disappear For The Past Few Months...

DOC'S TOP 5 TV SHOWS OF 2012:

I don't watch too much on tv, but it is still a pretty solid list. So here we go:

1) Breaking Bad
Clearly the best show on tv. Still have 3 eps left until I am caught up with the rest of the world. But I am obsessed. I even have a Los Pollos Harmonos tshirt. Crazy addicting and always surprising. Top 5 tv show of all time!

2) Parks and Recreation
Probably the funniest show on tv. Every ep has me cracking up. This is a show I hope goes on for at least 3 more seasons.

3) Shark Tank
I am obsessed with this show. Love seeing what people come up with. And then watching the investors fight each other over who gets a piece of the pie. The only reality show Ive ever loved. Highly recommended.

4) Sunday NFL Football
Sadly, I do not watch too much else as far as series go. Sure, The Walking Dead and Sons of Anarchy would be here if I watched. Or Homeland. But Walking Dead will be on my 2013 list! And I will catch up with the rest at some point. I do like sitting back and watching the games on Sunday though. Cant go wrong with it.

5) The Office
Again, if I watched other series, this wouldn't be on the list. It is ok for a few chuckles still though. And I will see it to the end.

Thats it for TV shows. Next week I will bring you my top albums of 2012!