Weekly Recap

Well, it was a crazy week here at the 3184 blog. Polls were closed on topics such as action figures, nicktoons and even vegetables. And you 3184ies were in for an even wilder ride as we almost saw the resignation of Dos. He has since apologized for his ridiculous statements and we are moving on.

Favorite Action Figures:
4 for Ghostbusters
3 for G.I. Joe
1 for Other
WINNER: DOS

Favorite 90's Nicktoon
4 for Doug
3 for Rocko's Modern Life
1 for Rugrats
0 for Hey Arnold
1 for Other
WINNER: DOC

Worst Vegetable
2 for Peas
4 for Fennel
WINNER: DOS

The Key is Beans

What must look like the ravings of a lunatic in the post below, is something entirely different. It is an apology from Dos regarding his DVD collection. If you study what he wrote carefully, it is quite clear. Let me dissect it for you.

I am not sure if Bison burgers actually have bison in them or not…
… Arrested Development was such a great running gag.
Sometimes I accidentally fart in public…
… OK to fart in public.
Running is by far the best activity for your heart.

Now, if you look at the sentences above, clearly they look like nonsense from a man who has lost his mind. But Dos has not lost his mind. It is in code. You wouldn’t know it by looking at it, but thankfully because of our 3184 connection, I am able to decipher it.

There are a few sentences that are connected. Look at the first one above. Burgers. What goes with Burgers? Beans. Remember that old saying… “Beans Beans. They’re good for your heart. The more you eat. The more you fart.” Dos admits he FARTS two sentences later on. Back to the beans. They are good for your HEART. As Dos admits with RUNNING. Arrested development had a lot of good RUNNING gags. Take the capital letters from these sentences and you end up with….

I A S O R

What is IASOR? Well, it is code for I AM SORRY. Dos admitted his mistake. And for that I forgive him. As should our readers. The 3184 Blog will continue. Dos had made amends and now it is time for us to move on. Apology accepted, Dos.

Not even Doc can Disagree with Me on This One

The Bison is an interesting animal. I am not sure if Bison burgers actually have bison in them or not, but I do know that the best burger is usually from those places that are not chains. The version of Chain of Fools that is most well known is by Aretha Franklin. Franklin on Arrested Development was such a great running gag. I really enjoyed that episode of Animaniacs where they depicted a running gag as a clown running in a forest. Running is by far the best activity for your heart. I would love to understand why the heart is depicted as a shape which looks nothing like a real heart. I used to watch the real world regularly when I was younger, but then I grew up and realized reality TV is dumb. Not as dumb as bumper sticker, bumper stickers should be outlawed as I see many people try to read them and get into accidents. Sometimes I accidentally fart in public, and I get really embarrassed, so, I think we should, as a society agree that it is OK to fart in public. The public library system is one of the greatest inventions. However, the best invention ever has to be shampoo. I am not really sure what conditioner does, but I do use it every time I shower. I probably shower too much, I do it 2 times a day at least, but I need them to wake me up and shower the day off me. Not even Doc can say that showers are a bad thing. Although, he has on occasion. We have talked about this before in past posts so that is not the argument here. All I am saying is that blogs are dumb and a waste of time. I mean someone can just post something and no one will ever read it, except the other person they are writing the blog with. But that is not my main argument. I have already stated my main argument and it is so obvious that it does not need to be repeated. If Doc disagrees with what I am saying here then he will have to present a logical and valid argument. Doc, the floor is yours.

A Message To Dos And Our Loyal Readers

The 3184 Blog. It's where you come to learn, laugh and be entertained. We joke around a lot and some of what we talk about is plain ridiculous at times. But the one code we live by is that we are always truthful in what we post. Well, recently that code was broken.

Dos took it upon himself to take a disagreement we had into the blog. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that what he posted was a complete lie. To claim that he has the best DVD collection in the world is completely outrageous. Here are the facts: Dos owns roughly just over 200 DVDs. 40% of them are made up of Looney Toons and Mickey Mouse cartoons. Among his DVDs are the Super Mario Bros. movie and a Beastie Boys DVD. Yes, you read that right. He even told me he tried to return this DVD and they would only give him a dollar for it. A man with the best DVD collection in the world does not try to return DVDs. Let alone get offered a mere dollar for one he owns.

What facts does he give to support his claim of having the best collection in the world you ask? I wish I could tell you. He left much to the imagination in his post. And you all deserve better than that. Its not only an insult to you, but to the many, many people in the world that have better DVD collections. My estimation places it around 60% of the world. Dos just slapped 60% of the world in the face.

Dos, I ask you, no, I implore you, please do not use this blog for selfish purposes. We would all like a pat on the back about our DVD collection now and again. But to lie to our readers is just unacceptable. They do not come here to be made fools of. In the coming days we can expect an apology from Dos or his letter of resignation. I will not accept any less. And I personally promise, to you, my faithful followers, that such an atrocity will never happen again. Thank you, Doc.

A Message From Dos

Hi, I'm Dos, from the hit blog "The 3184 Blog: Dos vs Doc." We do a lot of kidding on here about vegetables, toys and movies. It is all in good fun and our arguing has taken many hilarious turns. However, today I would like to talk about something serious. Something that impacts everyone of us, from the casual reader to the die hard fan that has us as their homepage and turns on the computer in the middle of the night when they wake up in fear that they might have missed a response to which was the best cast of Charles in Charge (Doc is wrong, the second cast was, by far, better and they were also more attractive). Doc has recently, in private, made a claim to me that was deeply offensive, not only to me, but to our readers and the world as a whole. At 11:00 AM on Wednesday April 21, 2010, he instant messaged me to tell me that he thinks that I do not have the best dvd collection in the world.

This type of slander is outrageous and I should not dignify it with a response. However, I think I owe it to the collection to make a public statement. I DO have the best dvd collection in the world. The size is quite superior to an average dvd collection and the content is what pushes it over the edge. I have a wide variety which represents many genres. A collection which includes silent films from the 1920s all the way up to recent hits from the past year. I do not mean to sound cocky, but when certain people go around making rude comments without thinking, I feel the need to defend my collection. I am not defending myself here, it is the collection's reputation that is at stake.

It would have been one thing if Doc posted the comment here or if his collection even rivaled mine or if he bathed regularly. Doc did and does none of these things. He just sent this blasphemous comment to me and it smelled. It smelled of jealousy, hatred, offensiveness and an odor which clearly shows that he hast stopped caring about his personal hygiene around 2005.

Perhaps this post will lead to an apology post from Doc. I can only hope he has the dignity and self-respect to do so. Myself and our loyal readers will be waiting Doc. Waiting and praying for a peaceful end to this tragedy you have created and stained our lives with. Thank you for your time and God bless America.

Weekly Recap

Well, the polls are closed. You voted. The results are below. You will also notice some updates to the site. Added is a results page where you can see all past polls and their results in case you missed them. Also, we've added a page for games. Right now just one game is up. A very addicting pinball game. More to come though! Finally, your comments are welcome. So don't be shy!

Which Smash Bros character do you prefer?
3 for Samus
3 for Bowser
WINNER: DOS and DOC (even though we all know Samus really is better)

Favorite Ninja Turtle
2 for Raphael
3 for Donatello
1 for Leonardo
0 for Michelangelo
WINNER: DOS

Favorite fruit
3 for Strawberry
2 for Green Apple
1 for Other
WINNER: DOC

If you all have any suggestions on how we can improve this page or if there is anything you would like to see added don't hesitate to ask.

This is No Ordinary Vegetable, This is Pure Evil

Listen Doc, I like peas. They are really fun to eat and then spit them out really fast. No one can deny this. When it comes to bad vegetables, one can not limit themselves to the average everyday vegetable. The vegetables that we know of are around because, at least, they are pretty good. When you talk about vegetable most wanted (they are wanted to be arrested and put away forever, not like most wanted to eat) you have to go deep into the prison and see who is on death row. I give you, and I even hesitate to say its disgusting name, FENNEL.

Fennel is sometimes put into salads. Remember this, it may prove to be important later.

Perhaps the biggest problem about fennel is how it looks. It looks like any root vegetable. It could even be mistaken for celery. However, it does not taste good with peanut butter and raisins when it looks line ants crawling on a muddy plant. If you were unfortunate enough to be tricked by this horrible vegetation into eating it you would understand what I mean. First it tricks you, it tastes a little bit like licorice. Not the great strawberry licorice we all love, the gross black one. Now, let's say you happen to like that kind, your enjoying fennel, its not so bad. Then comes the after taste. PURE VOMIT. Did those words scare you? Good, they should. Stay away from the fennel my friends. You have been warned.

Fennel is like a really scary monster in a horror movie because it can attack when you least expect. It is sometimes used in toothpaste. Gross toothpaste. So, let's say you buy and exciting new toothpaste, perhaps it has a cool tooth cartoon character on it. You are all excited to use it, you squeeze the tube and then put the toothbrush in your mouth. "EWWWW THIS TASTE IS KINDA BAD," you shout. You just got fennel attacked and it was not fun. It was gross.

As with every good horror movie, I must end this story with one shocking reminder of the horrible monster. You now look at the tooth paste ingredients before you buy it, you ask people what the vegetable is before you eat and you are getting to be very smart about avoiding fennel. In fact, you reunite with your lost love who was once tired of you eating fennel accidentally and complaining. You don't eat fennel anymore, so he/she takes you back. He/She takes you to Italy to celebrate your romance. You see a nice Italian bistro. Your meal comes with a free salad. You are talking to your love about the places you will see and then you start to taste something that tastes a little like black licorice................

Peas - The Bane of my Existence (well, one of many)

Now, I like vegetables on occasion. Carrots, String Beans, Potatoes, etc. But there is one vegetable that I can not stomach. That vegetable, my friends, is the pea. The best way to describe them would be the turds of the vegetable world.

Small. Green. Gross. As a kid, I would hide them in my napkin when my mom wasn't looking so I could go outside and play without having to eat these horrible little things. I wouldn't even give them to the dog. The dog deserved better than that.

They have no redeeming quality in my eyes. Sure, they are healthy. But they can easily be replaced by another, better tasting, vegetable. Another problem is the size. Often rolling off the plate. Off my utencil. And then finding its way into other food and contaminating it. Enough is enough pea.

Am I saying the pea should be eliminated? Yes. And now I will leave you with a list of things I would like to see wiped off the face of the Earth. These topics will be touched on in future posts:

Peas
Fat chicks
People who talk during movies
Thugs
Snakes
Rap music
Fat chicks
Cigarettes
Reality t.v.
Spoilers
And I am sure there are a lot others I just can't think of at the moment

Daddy, Teacher Says Everytime Someone Gets Their Driver's Liscence an Angel Gets Its' Wings

YOUR TEACHER IS FULL OF SNOT SON!

OMG was Rocko's Modern Life a great show. I laughed my ass off when I heard that line. I loved how it made fun of the cheesiness of Miracle on 34th Street. I knew that I liked funny cartoons in the 1990s, but what I did not know was that there was such a thing as biting satirical humor. My interest in the Simpsons (seasons 1-9 only) was still years away and Rocko was my first experience with a new kind of humor. Sure, Rugrats were cute, Ren and Stimpy were gross and Doug was, well, Doug was pretty damn boring, but Rocko gave me a way to laugh at this world in the same ways that I expect every comedy show to do so now.

When Rocko was sick, like most cartoons, he had lightning bolt pain lines coming out of his chest. The doctor told him that this was an easy fix. She went to the storage closet got some wavy relaxing lines and replaced the lightning bolts with them. Rocko went beyond the humor of a kids show. It was meta-comedy that made fun of popular culture and the annoying things that people do. Rocko may have started me on the path to be a jaded and constantly annoyed individual!

Again, Doug was boring.

Heffer, the Hilarius cow that was raised by wolves. Philbert the neurotic turtle brought us many classic lines. TURN THE PAGE, WASH YOUR HANDS! The Big-Heads had huge heads. That was their name! Get it?! Spunky kept eating everything. The driver's licence episode may have been my favorite. When everyone kept warning Rocko not to get the fat guy. I was warned something similar on the day of my road test. Then he thought he got the fat guy, but there was really an even fatter guy!

Skeeter was kinda cool, but Doug himself was very boring. Did he even have a personality? Describe him! Just try to describe his personality, you can't without using the word boring.

Rocko's Modern Life did what every great comedy show, never mind a kids cartoon, should do. It made fun of things that we experience in real life in a surreal and satirical manner. Meanwhile, Doug was boring. Very boring. Really really boring. That Bangin' on a Trash Can song was kinda cool and the killer tofu song. I can't lie about that. HAHA YOUR TEACHER IS FULL OF SNOT HAHA. Classic. Much more classic than boring old Doug.

Banging On A Trash Can

"Dear Journal, It's me. Doug." With this, the beginning of classic 90's nicktoons began. Premiering in 1991, Doug quickly became a fan favorite. Following Doug were nicktoons such as Rugrats, The Ren and Stimpy Show, Rocko's Modern Life and Hey Arnold. Doug remained the best of the bunch though.

What was appealing about Doug was that even though the main characters were kids, they were treated and acted like adults. It focused on real-life situations (for the most part) and was genuine. The series begins with Doug Funnie and his family moving to the town of Bluffington and deals with the life of Doug and his relationships with dog Porkchop, best friend Skeeter, crush Patti, snob Beebe, next door neighbor Mr. Dink, antagonist Roger and many others.

Doug was amusing, smart, and (sometimes) had morals. No matter what else was on, if Doug was on I would have to watch it. With a big bag of Doritos in my lap I could watch it for hours. Even if I had just seen the episode that was on. It didn't matter. It was always entertaining.

The humor could be appreciated by adults as well. As seen by Doug's alter egos:

Quailman - Superman
Durango Doug - Clint Eastwood / John Wayne
Smash Adams - James Bond
Race Canyon - Indiana Jones
The Waffle Stomper - Steven Segal
Jack Bandit - Zorro

These spoofs would not be understood by kids as much as they would be by adults.

For the most part, all nicktoons in the early 90's were great. Doug just happened to be the first and best. Every story was exceptional. If Doug's journal could speak, it would say: "Hey Doug, thanks for filling me with such wonderful tales of mischief, excitement, comedy, and amazement."

My First Career

When I was younger I only cared about two things; someday being able to see a Playboy magazine and owning every single item that relates to Ghostbusters. I didn't even know who G.I. Joe was. If you asked me about our G.I. friend, I would say that my Ectometer was going off the chart and I would have to put you in ecto-trap before I drove away in my Ecto-mobile. No, I have no idea what ecto really means, and I do not want to know. To me it will always mean that it was time to catch some ghosts.

I loved my Ghostbuster firehouse so much that I refused to poor the free ooze that came with it through the roof, like the box said you were supposed to. I was not gonna sit there and let that amazing structure be ruined in any manner. While Doc was throwing his Joes off roofs to see if the parachute went off properly (we all know that it very rarly did), I was saving the world with the only four people who mattered to me, Peter Venchman, Egon Spangler, Ray Stanz and Winston Zedamore. Please note that I looked none of these names up, I still know them. The movies were on while I played and one other thing was on. The greatest item that I have ever owned. An actual ghostbuster jump suit. I know that my new obsession with LOST is only due to their use of jump suits in the Dharam Initiative and how it reminds me of the good old Ghostbuster days.

I realize that I am in no way arguing that these toys were the best. I am just explaing how I owned them and loved them. So, let me now make this clear why they were the best, before I continue describing all of the toys I miss. There are no ghosts around right now. Do you see any ghosts? No, you don't and that is all because of me. I also had the Ghostbster guns and traps. So, when Doc spent his days playing with toys, I was out there making the world safe for the youth of today. I would put on my suit, proton pack and have my trap in hand and capture every ghost in my house. For some reason, they were all there. I captured them all so you don't have to be scared at night. Slimer is still around, he is my friend. But all other ghosts have been stored in my custom made storage facility. That's right, you are welcome.

When Ghostbusters II came out in theaters, I bought the Ghostbuster II ecto-mobile. Yes, it was the same exact car as the one I already owned. The ghost on the car had two fingers up and that was the only difference. Did I care when I found this out? No, I was still thrilled. This was a ghostbuster toy and I was proud to own it and to be saving the world from ghosts. Also, the first audio tape I ever owned was the Ghostbusters II soundtrack. It taught me how to spell the word ghost.

We all had many toys when we were younger and I am sure everyone's favorite is just by the chance of what was popular during those days and what our parents happen to let us own. We love them now, not because they were great toys, but because they remind us of the days when our imagination was endless. This is true for all toys, except Ghostbusters, they were different, their toys saved the world from paranormal activity and made me the unsung hero of this world.

Real American Heroes

Growing up, everyone had their favorite action figures. Turtles. Transformers. Ghostbusters. For me, it was G.I. Joe. With what felt like an endless supply of weapons and enhancements, G.I. Joe action figures were extremely customizable. And more importantly: they had numerous story possibilities!

When I played with my action figures, they were placed within an epic story. Sometimes it would be a "Die Hard" one man against the world type story. Others, a huge war. Sometimes a mutant or animal from another line of action figures would make an appearance and all the G.I. Joes had to unite to eliminate this common threat. There were endless possibilities.

Guns that would actually shoot were another big draw to the Joe figures. You did not have to pretend someone was getting shot when they could actually be hit with something! Not all had this feature, but the guns could be held by all so if someone died in the field, someone else was able to grab their gun.

G.I Joe action figures were just plain fun. Easily the best to play with. Had my parents bought me Transformers figures, I might side with them. Cause they seemed pretty damn awesome. But they did not. So I will never know. But it didn't matter. I was happy with my G.I. Joes and would not have traded them for the world.

Words are Not Enough to Express My Graditude: An Open Letter to "Granny" Maria Ann Smith

Dear "Granny" Maria Ann Smith,

I know I will never succeed in my aims of expressing how much I appreciate you, but I will try. I often think back to that day in Australia, in 1868, when you accidentally planted a hybrid of the European Wild Apple and the Domestic Apple. I think of it and I smile. How could you have ever known that you just planted the greatest fruit ever? The Granny Smith sour green apple was born that day, and the lives of every person on this earth, except those who may be allergic, was made better.

The sour apple is the perfect fruit. Its taste is the envy of every candy that tries in vain to replicate its flavor. Delicious, nutritious, in a word, perfect. There is nothing like it. Its sourness reminds us of the hard times in life, while the crisp juiciness reminds us to enjoy life and to take it all in. Perfect for pies, even better freshly picked, it is no wonder that there is an annual Granny Smith Apple festival in your hometown. Many people attend this festival from around the world to not only appreciate the fruits of your labor (get it?), but also you. You brought this joy into our lives. You made Fall exciting again. No wonder the Beatles picked your apple as their logo. Bravo Granny! Bravo!

I know, since you were a grandma already in 1868, you will probably never read this letter. I also know that, somehow, you know how I feel. You have always known. From that first bite you have known. You knew that strawberries have nothing on you. You knew that the Granny Smith Apple, with its complex taste and all, has made this world a better place.

Thank you Granny Smith, Thank you.

- Dos

P.S. Doc's fruit made him sick and he picked it as his number one. That is strange.

Best Fruit = Strawberries

Most fruits are pretty awesome. There is one that stands above the rest though. And that fruit is strawberries. I love strawberries!

Strawberries are fucking delicious. I eat them almost everyday. The taste. The size. All perfect. Sure peaches and cantelope come close. But no cigar my friend. And they are nutritious to boot! They are an excellent source of vitamin C!

Once when I was little, I ate a whole carton of strawberries. I couldn't resist their delicious-ness. I ate them all. Next thing I know im in the hospital breaking out with hives because I ate so god damned many. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? You bet. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Donatello Does Machines

It is very easy to pick the best Ninja Turtle. It's Donatello....duh!

To know this for a fact, all you have to do is ask yourself what the world would be like without Donatello. So, come with me now on a horrifying journey to a place I call...A WORLD WITHOUT DONATELLO.

Hey Raph, let's take the turtle van...oh wait, it was never invented. Maybe we can just go home and eat some jellybean pizza in our sewer...oh wait, there are no lights down there or anything. Have I scared you enough yet??? There would be no inventions and the turtles would have no place to live. The world would be wonderful without Michelangelo's dumb jokes, Raphael's grunts of frustration and Leonardo's...well...I hesitate to call him the leader, as I have never seen him really lead....that guy has no personality. To quote wikipedia, "Despite Leonardo being the official leader of the team given the sci fi nature of the series it is Donatello who comes up with most of the plans and solutions to the turtles predicaments." The facts are all there. Are you screaming come back Donatello!? Come Back?! Yeah, I know. Me too. I am sorry I had to put you through that, but it is ok, Donatello does exist and we are safe from Bebop and Rocksteady. (or Toka and Rahzar if we are talking about the movie version, and yes, that is how you spell Rahzar, I looked it up)

In fact, all you really need is Donatello. Forget the others. Oh, and his bo is so cool. It is just a stick, huh? Wrong! That thing goes into someone's gut and it is all over. The guy created a portal to another dimension! Without him we would never have met the Hot Rodding Teenagers from Dimension X or be able to send Krang back there. When you see the purple coming, you run away because Donatello is smart and can kick our ass, a lethal combo. To state my argument once again:

Leonardo Leads (not really)
Donatello does machine (that's a fact jack)
Raphael is cool but rude (there is no need to be rude, man)
Michelangelo is a party dude (that is really gonna help when the evil shredder attacks)

The obvious choice here is Donatello. Maybe splinter too, he's a radical rat.

Turtle Power!

It is almost impossible to pick a favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but I would have to say Raphael has the edge. Each turtle is awesome in their own way though. Leonardo: the leader. Donatello: the smart one. Michelangelo: the funny one. And finally Raphael: the rebel.

Raphael wears a red mask and wields a pair of sai. Why do I like the sai? It's a personal kill (not that you really ever see the turtles actually kill someone). But if Raph has to, it's right to their face. He is aggressive and will take charge when Leo can't. Or even will if he believes Leo is wrong. Despite this, he is very loyal and always puts his brother's best interests first.

I find his deadpan and sarcastic humor funnier than Michelangelo's goofy demeanor. Being good friends with Casey Jones, the two often go out on their own to get things done. He is a take charge kind of guy and doesn't back down.

All of the turtles are unique in their own way. And im sure everyone has a different favorite. But for me, it's Raphael. His stories always tend to be the most entertaining and his warlike and take no prisoners attitude makes him the more captivating of the bunch.

WEEKLY RESULTS!

The results are in...

Do you read spoilers?
3 of you read spoilers
5 of you do not read spoilers (rightfully so)
and 1 jokester doesn't know what spoilers are
WINNER: DOC

Favorite Godfather movie?
3 for Godfather: Part I
3 for Godfather: Part II
2 for Godfather: Part III (seriously?)
WINNER: DOS and DOC

Which TV show do you prefer?
3 for The Honeymooners
4 for I Love Lucy
WINNER: DOS

Which candy bar do you prefer:
2 for Fast Break
4 for Nutrageous
4 of you are fatties that would eat anything. Lovely.
WINNER: DOS

Stay tuned for next weeks results!

Let Me Elaborate Breifly on Doc's Obviously Flawed Argument , I Say Breifly Because I Only Need Several Sentences To Prove Him Wrong.

LOOK AT THAT THING!!!! He is a monster! I can't even believe I have to respond to this. Let me put it like this; if Samus and Bowser go into a fight, Bowser would eat Samus' suit, burn her with his fire and then it would be over.

Need I say more? I mean he is a monster!

The Bounty Hunter or The Koopa

When it comes to Super Smash Bros there are a number of good playable characters. When it comes to Dos vs Doc, there are only two: Bowser and Samus. In my opinion, Samus is the better of the two. And Samus will be victorious every time.

Perhaps in the hands of someone who was better at video games, Bowser would be a formidable opponent. But despite what Dos believes, he just does not have enough skills to be considered a good video gamer. Ill give him Wii Tennis, but thats about it.

Samus has the edge. Why? The armored suit. Equiped with a cannon, which can be charged to shoot an extra-powerful blast, missiles, and various beams. Samus's suit can collapse into a sphere allowing her to roll past enemies. The ability to attack enemies from a long distance. The gadgets. Samus has it all. The grapple beam also comes in handy when you are about to fall to your death. And that suit just looks bad ass.

Boswer is limited in that he can only attack enemies from a shorter distance. Hes big. Hes slow. And hes probably dumb. And how many of us are just plain sick of him capturing the princess??

Super Smash Bros features a lot of great characters. Everyone has their favorite that they are best with. For me its Samus. For Dos its Boswer. But its really not much of a match. Dos should find a better character. Or at least become better with Bowser. Or is it that Boswer just isn't that good to begin with and its no fault of his own? You be the judge.

Doc is Nuts

Well, at least we can agree on the amazing quality of Reese's products. We can also agree on peanut butter. The problem lies within one word, nougat. A wikipedia search of nougat is not even clear on what this is. It just says it is "a confectionery which includes sugar and honey". This means that it could have anything else in it. My definition would go like this; "GROSS."

When I bite into nougat my tongue gets angry at me and my teeth try to get me to never eat candy bars again. It tastes weird and my teeth hurt and I rather not even think about these Fast Breaks. The Nutrageous goes one step further. It is all about nuts and peanut butter here, which is all anyone can ask of a great candy bar. Maybe if I knew what nougat was and if I did not gag at the thought of a Fast break, Doc would be right. But I don't and I do and he isn't. Nutrageous for life! (even if I can never find it in any store because people like Doc keep pushing their Fast Break agenda on us and don't purchase a truly great candy bar when they see one)

THE GREAT CANDY DEBATE

When it comes to choosing between a Reese's Fast Break candy bar or Nutrageous, there's really no choice. Fast Break wins every time. Dos would have you believe Nutrageous is the better of the two. This coming from the guy who reads spoilers. Brushes his teeth once a day. Prefers sequels over original movies. And gets his jollies from listening to red heads cry. Clearly he is wrong.

Fast Break is the perfect candy bar. Basically its a Reese's peanut butter cup with a touch of magic. This magic is soft nougat. The big draw of Nutrageous is supposed to be the nuts. But Snickers already perfected that formula.

I immediately realized after my first taste of the Fast Break that it would be my favorite candy bar. The chocolate. The peanut butter. The nougat. They were all perfect. Sure I still dabbled with other candy bars. But the Fast Break could not be beat. And it will never be beat.

I Wanna Be in the Show!

O, Mr. Iconic images, I got you on this one. Godfather I is great because of iconic images, huh? Well, Doc, images do not get more iconic than in I Love Lucy. Does stomping on the grapes mean anything to you? vitaminavegemin commercial? Ricky preforming at the club? Lucy dressed up in many costumes? the chocolate factory? Mr. Mooney??!!! Lucy is filled with iconic images that have stayed vibrant in American pop culture today, where Honeymooners just reminds us of a big moon....hey, I can just look outside at night and see that.

You want wacky neighbors? Fred and Ethel are where it is at! I don't even know the names of the wives on the Honeymooners and I refuse to scroll through Doc's post to be reminded of them. Lucy has songs, humor, heart and everything you can ask for in a classic sitcom.

Now, I know Doc will be mad at this argument but it must be said. "To the Moon Alice..." is clearly a metaphor for beating one's wife. And Lucy's show does not promote spousal abuse. It supports good family values...until Little Ricky came on, that kid was annoying and needed to be put in line.

Anyway, I Love Lucy, not the Honeymooners. The Honeymooners stinks...and as far as I am concerned it is on par with the 2005 film remake, which makes me wanna go WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!...now that's iconic!

P.S. They would never try to turn Lucy into a remade movie...it was too perfect.

The Honeymooners > I Love Lucy

HOW SWEET IT IS

RE: Just Wash Your Mouth Out With Soda in the Morning

First, I absolutely 100% believe you should brush your teeth twice a day. Morning and Night. None of this once a day nonsense. A grown man should not be picking one or the other. There is no debate here. It is morning and night. Before you enter and the world. And after a hard day of doing whatever it is you do. End of discussion.

Just Wash Your Mouth Out With Soda in the Morning

Bart: Do I have to brush my teeth tonight?
Homer: Just wash your mouth out with soda

Homer's advice here is wrong because brushing your teeth at night is all that matters. You can wash your mouth with soda in the morning, that is fine.

Optimally, it is obviously best to brush your teeth twice a day. But let's say you had to pick to brush your teeth once a day, the best time to pick would be at night. By bedtime all that crap is in your mouth and in order to not breathe all that crud down into your lungs you brush it out at night. That crud can cause problems in there, I don't know what, but I am pretty sure I am right. Plus, who can go to bed without a minty fresh mouth? The morning does not matter because your just gonna eat all day and your mouth was clean when you went to bed.

Doc is a morning brusher, and while his breath may smell better than mine, I go to bed with the satisfaction of knowing that my mouth is clean. I can just have a sugar filled mint to clean my breath anyway, I'll brush them in the night when it matters more.

And I Said to Myself, This is the Business We've Chosen

Good movies are rare. Good sequels are even rarer. The Godfather Trilogy is great because it is about more than just gangsters, it is about complex decisions and how everyone of them impacts our lives. This is shown the best through Part II. Every decision the characters make have huge impacts. This is even shown through generations, as the Godfather's decisions years earlier clearly have an impact on the life of his son in the present day. This is not accomplished in Part I or III due to their linear narrative. Choices do matter in these films, but not as much as they do here. This even extends to the decisions of leaders of nations as we see chaos ensue in the backdrop of the Cuban Revolution. The family is extended to that of a nation and parallelism is seen throughout the film. Our decisions matter and they impact everyone.

Part I is good, however, iconic images do not change the fact that it is not as emotionally effecting. When we see Micheal at the end of the movie, alone with his thoughts, we understand what has happened. He, and his father, has made some wrong decisions, no matter how correct they seem in the moment. The absence of some actors does not change the writing. It is in the writing where Part II exceeds Part I and the complex picture of family, nation and the past that is shown and can apply to all of us. It is just taken to an extreme through a family involved in organized crime. The point of Godfather II is, to quote Magnolia, we may be done with the past, but the past is not done with us.

All right, I gotta go watch Godfather II again....and Doc, I suggest you do as well to learn that the better movie is not found with bloody horse head, but with the emotional impact and point of the film. Never go against the family, Doc, move Part II up in that top movie list.

The Godfather VS The Godfather: Part II

Now this is a tough one. I love The Godfather: Part II. It is one of my favorite movies. But in the grand scheme of things, I believe The Godfather is the better movie of the two. It is in this movie that we are introduced to the great characters that make up the Corlenone crime syndicate. Seeing Michael's rise to power and fall from grace has much more of an impact than seeing just how far he can fall in Part II.

Seeing the movie for the first time, you have no idea what to expect (assuming you haven't read the book). The horse head. Restaurant shooting. Sonny's death. The door closing. Such iconic scenes. Part II does not create as many iconic moments. Again, I love Part II and its my second favorite movie of all time (after Part I, of course).

Part II could have been my favorite of the two. But here are some things II had going against it. The writing off of Clemenza. If it were him in that bathtub, Jesus Christ! I loved him and it was a shame the actor wanted to write his own lines. WTF was he thinking? The off screen return of Vito. The studio should have just played ball with Brando and done all they could have to get him on the set for that one day of shooting. Although, I believe he was being pretty difficult. Had he returned for that final flashback, the scene would have carried more weight.

When all is said and done, I believe The Godfather is better than The Godfather: Part II. But if there is one thing we can all agree upon, it is that Part III is the worst of the bunch. Coppola, you should have called it a day after II. Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

RE: Warning: This Article May Contain Spoilers

Patience. It pays off. When you love a tv show or movie, it is often difficult waiting to find out what will happen next. But doing so makes it even more exciting when watching the events unravel before your eyes. A surprise cameo. A shocking death. A friend becoming an enemy. Reading them on the page beforehand is not as exciting as watching them within the context of the work.

The fact that I even have to argue about this is unbelievable to me. I can understand the desire to want to know what is going to happen. But to say reading about spoilers, instead of being shocked while watching the actual tv show or movie, is fucking mind boggling. Reading spoilers may appease you for the time being and get you excited for what is to come, but they take away from the excitement and suspense of when it is actually happening.

Despite my dislike of spoilers, I will leave you with one: the readers of this blog will agree with my views on this issue over those of Dos.

Warning: This Article May Contain Spoilers

Here is the thing; if you love a show or a movie, you think about it a lot. If not, your simply not a real fan of the show. You think about what's to come and where it can go next. The best possible thing to read about then is SPOILERS. Do not let its name deceive you, spoilers do not spoil anything. In fact, they make things better. There is nothing more exciting then reading a tasty tidbit of what is to come. Once you read this you look forward to the next episode with the knowledge that something exciting will happen. It makes the show go beyond just what you watch and turns into a detective-like activity with amazing results.

Now, my esteemed colleague would have you believe that spoilers ruin shows and that there is nothing like the thrill of seeing something happen when it occurs. What he is forgetting is, that the excitement before a show is always better than watching the actual show. The show can never match your expectations. So, I say let the spoilers fuel your imagination and allow you to enjoy the show beyond just what it was made for. Do you want to live in a world where people run out of the movie theater during the trailers, perhaps falling over strangers and causing injuries to babies, so they don't see a scene from an upcoming film? No, nobody wants to see babies hurt, except maybe Doc, he doesn't really care for babies or spoilers. As we wait for Doc's response, I would like to leave you with this one last thought, wouldn't this blog be more enjoyable if I was able to leave you with a hint of what's to come?